Vision Changes and My Mental Health

Well, I made it. It was a long stressful summer of illness all around. From depression to a car of screaming cats, I made it back to New York. Now the hard part, keeping the promises I made to myself.

At start of summer I was disappointed to learn my vision was getting worse. Followed by an endless search for a house in my hometown in New York. Then jump to my best friend and roommate's mother's health starting to really slip. To finally a long five weeks living alone and with no ways to leave house due to friend driving up to assist her mother. It was something.

Vision changes with NMOSD

The whole month of August has to be one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. If you are new and don’t know, NMO has stolen most of my vision and has led me to be legally blind. So being left to take care of house and cats alone was a challenge. Unable to drive, I had to rely on food delivery services which are not always the best and most accurate. Also the feeling of being trapped really took a toll on my mental health. Days I’d just cry and curse my disease for putting me in this situation. Especially in a state where I did not have many close connections.

I always considered myself a very independent person, but this made me feel like a needy child. I wasn’t mad or upset over not having anyone to help. I just did not feel ok feeling so helpless. I truly never felt more alone.

When doctors stop listening

On top of that my friend was just as lost trying to help and advocate for her mother. And with that new fears popped into my head. NO ONE LISTENED to her mothers fears and concerns. She was labeled as a pill chaser and a junky by doctors. This woman has had 60 surgeries and takes her normal pain meds that are prescribed by her doctor. She doesn’t need anymore. They ignored all her issues and it led her to kidney failure.

Since my friend has been home and helping, things are stable for the moment. Her blood work changes so much for the better and right back down. She truly is a mystery but with her body so weak and allergic to so much, it is hard to do tests. But seeing all this is terrifying and to think of some doctors can’t figure out an issue, they will stop listening and come up with false conclusions.

Taking care of myself

So overall August was trash and as in another article I also had Covid as well. So when it finally came time for friend to return, I was over the moon. First time I smiled in over a month. It was nice to finish up the packing and actual speak to someone and leave the house and do things. It was a much needed vacation for my mental health.

And now I am two weeks in to being back in my hometown and no depression. I’m so thrilled to be back with all my friends and family. But with this I need to make a promise to truly take care of myself mentally and physically!

Have you or a loved one had vision changes with NMOSD? Share with others in the community, in the comments below!