The Choice To Accept Myself

The beginnings of my neuromyelitis optica (NMO) journey led to the loss of one eye. I started noticing changes in my husband's behavior around this time, too. I chose to ignore those changes, but 5 months later I was officially diagnosed with NMO. I was completely broken and I was in the ICU for 4 days.

When I was discharged my husband told me he didn't love me, but that he would stay married to me.

NMO and finances

I didn't have a choice as there were expenses to be looked at - specifically my daughter's fees and my NMO medical bills. I chose to stay with him. I was going through severe depression and thought I could die. I decided to put a brave face on for my daughter. My husband was taking total care of me financially, even with everything falling apart.

But emotionally, he was unavailable.

Finding community

Miracles happen, don't they? I found my saving grace, I found new hope; this website. I chose to live again. I decided to fight back against NMO. I decided to accept the new disabled me. I got even more excited when I officially became a part of this community as a health leader.

Fast forward to a few years later, I finally chose to take a break from the mayhem and took a 3 day trip. I went on this trip with only with my daughter, despite everyone in my life objecting to it.

An energy shift

The energy shift I experienced during this trip was amazing, I had time to think. There was a calm that arrived, after the whirlwind of my NMO diagnosis and my marriage troubles. I realized one very important thing, there was no point in fighting and begging, I needed to let go and accept myself. I loved myself and have a beautiful daughter who loves me even more.

Accepting yourself with NMO

To do all the right things, I made all the wrong choices.

But now I am at peace and have decided to live without any commotion, anyone telling me what to do. I can avoid the drama for my own health. I can choose to make memories and give the best of my time to my daughter.

Choices you make today can shape your tomorrow. Even more so, I feel the choices you make at any moment can and will make a difference today. My choice to be happy or sad, to fight back or to surrender, to hear my heart and let my emotions take over To get controlled or to be as independent as possible, to fight or let go.

The most important choice when living with a disease like NMO is to love and accept yourself each day.