Goodbye and Hello Again
Last updated: April 2023
After being diagnosed with NMO, change has been very scary to me. It took more of my vision with every attack. With each bit of vision loss, I started to become fearful of my surroundings and being in places I was unfamiliar with. I feel like I lost power in a sense.
The comforts of home
Back in my hometown, I felt like I could walk blind and find my way. The thought of moving somewhere else seemed pretty unlikely. That changed when my best friend moved away. I took it as a chance to kick this fear to the curb.
Living with NMO in a new place
Moving to North Carolina and having NMO sure has been a back-and-forth love story. It’s had its highs, but sadly, it's had more lows. I often go into fits of depression and feel so disconnected here.
I don’t know many people and don’t know the area. It’s a big place and it's quite the culture change, even from upstate New York. I felt like I have given it my all. I have thoughts of being back home in my comfort zone. I feel these three years have been a ride, but I miss home.
When the door appears, walk through it!
Well, things can change within minutes. My friend came up to me and said something that blew my mind. She uttered the most shocking statement I have ever heard her say, “I want to go back to New York.” I was speechless and shocked. She knew I had thoughts of going back or spending summers up there. But this was a game-changer!
A dream state
The day after she told me, I swear I was in a dream. She had sworn up and down that she would never move back there. This was most definitely not a dream. It was real. Trust me, I pinched myself all day.
Her biggest reason was her mom. She also has a ton of medical issues, and she wants to be with her there.
Right now, moving back home is best for me
Medically this is my best move right now. I have established doctors and can easily go back to my old neurologist. For my mental health, I’ll be around my whole family and all my friends again.
The food is calling me
Also, let me be real, the food. The food is what I’m most excited about. It’s so good! Beat pizza and wings you’ll ever get is there!
Moving with NMO
Moving with NMO has had its struggles and hardships. I wouldn’t take back moving and getting out of my comfort zone. If anything, it was a stepping stone for the future.
We would love to move overseas and get out of the States for a big change one day. For now, I want to really reflect and see the things that can be a challenge and figure out how to fix that issue if possible. I’m sure if the world was a different place, this could have been easier.
Time and space to work on other parts of myself
I don’t fully blame NMO for my problems of paranoia and fear. A small part, I believe, was the pandemic. Moving to a place where I couldn’t do much for the first year was hard. It drove many people to question their sanity. But I did it for three years, and I am more than ok with this change.
Going back is going to almost be like a free therapy session with everyone. I’m proud of what I’ve done, and I can’t say I hate it here. It just wasn’t for me right now.
I’m hoping this new journey back home is what I hope it will be. I hope to get my medical issues back on track all around. Down here, it’s been just a one-track mindset of dealing with NMO and ignoring my other issues. That truly is my goal. Oh - and eat lots of good food!
Now, I am curious. Has anyone else felt the struggle of living with NMO and making big life changes? Let’s share in the comments and discuss!
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