Trying Out Dating Sites With NMOSD

Dating in 2025 with NMOSD has been a different ballgame. Combining social media expectations, and all the different expectations that men have and women have of how a relationship should look, or feel, it is a lot.

This is what I have gathered, from watching and listening to my friends who are able bodied, not in a wheelchair, or have a known rare disease. These are things to take into consideration when dating or meeting a new potential person to date.

Opening myself back up to dating

More recently, I have decided to be open to dating. However, since being in a wheelchair for the past 11 years, I don’t go out to a lot of social events to mix and mingle like I would prior to being disabled and in my wheelchair.

Even when I am out for events I'm not walking around, I'm usually posted in one spot so I can be comfortable and not lost in the crowd. However, after suggestions from a few people years ago, I joined a few dating sites to see how that would go.

At first when I joined i was leery because of things I’ve heard about dating sites; like people are on just for hookups, there is a lot of catfishing going on, and negative things you see on the news that has happened to others. All of which made me nervous. But I've also heard some good things, and that people have actually found a good person and have actually been dating.

Will I be judged for my wheelchair?

When I first got on, I mainly shared selfies because I did not want to be pre-judged when someone saw that I am in a wheelchair. Even though I would not know how people react because you are just swiping left or right, I still had that in my mind. On the other hand, I was a little nervous because some may prey on the fact that I am in a wheelchair. I didn’t want the thought of anyone thinking they could take advantage because I am disabled.

Today I have decided to put a variety of pictures. Some of me sitting in my wheelchair and a few of me standing without, which gives the opportunity to ask about me and see if they are interested.

I have came across people who like how I look and compliment me, and do ask what happened. I give a brief story, and we talk for awhile and then that’s it.

I’ve connected with a few people who said they never dated anyone in a wheelchair and asked questions like if we went out on a date are there any limitations, or if there's something they would need to do differently.

Do I need to explain NMOSD?

For the past couple months I have been on the dating sites more consistently, but haven’t gone on an actual date with anyone. It's been more talking on the telephone and I've met maybe 3 of those in person.

It’s one thing to explain how I got in a chair and about having to relearn to walk. That in itself can bring insecurities. Who wants to be looked at differently or rejected? But then explaining that you have a rare disease like NMOSD that you have to get infusions for, and explaining that can be draining when you are meeting multiple people on a dating site.

I’ve learned to give just a quick description at the start. Because out of everyone you meet, if you aren't exchanging numbers to talk further, then I feel they do not need to know. It gets redundant and feels like a waste of time.

I have my reservations

I have my reservations being in a wheelchair because I know I don’t want anyone to pick me up and take me on a date. I would rather drive by myself because I can’t just jump out the car if I need to, if the date takes a turn that I’m not comfortable with. I would rather drive myself and meet them at the location.

Overall my experience so far getting back out in this dating world has not been easy. It has ups and downs, especially when you do meet someone and it seems as if everything is moving in a positive direction, then communication kind of slows down and stops.

Prior to being disabled and dating I may not have put too much thought into it, like oh well. But sometimes I wonder, did they not feel comfortable or want to deal with the fact that I'm in a wheelchair? It's almost like you have to have even tougher skin to know whatever the reason is.

You are not your disability

You are not your disability, and if you continue to put yourself out there you will hopefully you meet the right person for you.

It can be discouraging at times, but I’ve learned to take breaks away from dating sites. When I do venture back on, I approach with a renewed mindset. I focus on being open and honest about my situation, but I also emphasize my interests and the qualities I seek in a partner. I’ve learned to set boundaries and prioritize my comfort, which has made the experience feel less daunting.

Rejection is not a reflection

While I still face moments of insecurity and doubt, I’ve come to understand that rejection is a part of the process, not a reflection of my worth. Each experience, whether it leads to a date or just a conversation, contributes to my personal growth.

It does get lonely at times because who doesn’t want to find that person to hang out with, go on dates other than with your family and friends.

In the end, I remain hopeful. I believe that love can be found in the most unexpected places, and I’m open to the idea of meeting someone who appreciates all aspects of who I am. I continue to put myself out there, embracing the journey with optimism and excitement.

After all, every step I take brings me closer to finding that special person who will see me for me, and I’m ready for whatever the future holds.