a woman casually resting lounging in bed using dating apps chatting adult

Hi! I Have NMO. Wanna Go On A Date?

Love is something most people want. It’s warm, it’s safe, it’s comfort, and it can be unique. It can be a million little things really. But to me it’s a struggle. It’s been seven years now since I was in love. Between my last relationship and NMO, I’ve taken a long extended break.

Dating with NMO

Throughout the years I've tried several times to put myself out there: it’s tough out there. Times have changed and the ways people connect has changed so much. From dating apps to social media. It’s all pretty scary and at times very intimidating. It’s almost like putting an application into a new big job and waiting for the call back to see if you got the job.

But there is a huge red flag on my application and it’s called NMO.

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It’s a topic I fight with internally all the time. Should I jump right in or wait? I’ve dabbled in both and gotten the same outcome. After so many endless lines of "Oh, I’m so sorry!” and “That sucks..” it gets exhausting. Exhausting to the point I ask myself: is it worth it?

Putting myself back out there

Is it worth the time? Is it worth the trouble? How are they going to deal when I have an attack? I’ve seen these questions answered before, and I saw what it did to my ex and our relationship. It turned messy and pushed us further away from one another. There were other factors, but one comment they received that haunts me was, “Do you really want to take care of someone for the rest of your life?”

Comments like that can really stick in your mind and it does still in my mind. But with my hopeful move back to my hometown, I’m going to try again. I’ll be more in my element and I’m really going to put myself out there. Baby steps at first but I will give it my all.

NMO and insecurities can’t always keep me from opening up to others. It controls enough of my life and I’m ready to share my life again. Just need to find someone who’s willing to try.

Being open about my health

NMO is some pretty hefty baggage, but manageable. I can show others it hasn’t taken everything away from me and I can be independent. I’m not looking for a caretaker and I want to make that clear to anyone. I don’t need a driver or someone to cook for me. I want to be that strong and confident man again and for someone to see that and not my disability.

With the move hopefully coming up soon, I started a dating profile which heaven knows I hate. But I'm trying it now with a more open mind and a brutally honest start. I make clear that I am visually impaired and have NMO. I note that if that sounds scary or if they have questions to ask. I am going to be pretty open and clear about my health. I feel it’s time to be more open.

Life is too short. If I don’t put my all into it, then why would anyone do the same. But they must meet one very important request: they must love cats.

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