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Is your partner also your caregiver ?

Often the roles are mesh together & its forgotten that before they became your caregiver they were your partner. How do you deal with maintaining clear boundaries?

  1. This is a great topic of conversation, especially for me because my partner isn't anywhere near the care giver type of person. It's difficult and I certainly have more to say on the matter. I feel that this has put a strain on my already pressed relationship. I see my spouse in a way I do not desire now, and it upsets me. I know the easiest thing to say is everyone's been great and supportive but actually they have not. I have had to figure out how to take care of myself as much as possible. There are no clear boundaries.

    1. My husband is also my caregiver. It is a hard adjustment for both of us because when we met I was healthy and full of life and energy, and now everything seems to have gone downhill a little. I think the hard part for him is not taking care of me, he says often that it's what he signed up for, and he does it effortlessly for the most part. The hard part for him is seeing me change from the person I used to be, and how introverted I am now. He gets excited to see me go out and do stuff. To maintain boundaries I really just push to try to be as independant as I can. I try to refuse his help as much as I can, but he has gotten to be able to tell when I am not doing as well as I claim to be. If i was to get any worse, I would probably consider hiring someone if that was a possibility.

      1. My partner is also my full time caregiver and clearly my illness has taken a bigtime toll on his mental health. Sadly it has also effected our marriage. He cares but he is not the same person anymore.
        It takes a lot of courage cause as a partner and a carer they are living journey with you. They might not be experiencing you pain but to see this way and wake up with you.. its not easy

        1. Yes my partner of 51 + yrs is also my care giver. He dresses me, checks for bed sores, does the laundry, cooking (easy one pot meals), takes me out to dinner and makes me laugh. I've been blessed to have married such a wonderful man.

          1. That's wonderful!

          2. how wonderful that you have such a caring husbandđź’•. Our community is here to support you both! How have you been managing lately? Sending well wishes, Julie (team member)

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